The Art Of Handling Others

One of the most valuable skills you, as a salesperson, can learn is how to handle people successfully. When you become a master at this, you’ll be able to handle almost any situation and you’ll be in demand as an employee, as a supplier, as a coworker, as a friend and as a leader.

Being in demand means being in control. Being in control means you write your own ticket. If you write your own ticket and aren’t happy with what you write, well, I can’t help you with that.

Salespeople, of all the career paths out there, need to master The Art of Handling Others. Handling others is actually pretty simple and I’m almost ashamed to try and put it down in pixels, but it might help someone, so I’ll try.

The first point, and the most important thing you need to learn is to disengage yourself from your normal way of thinking and put yourself in the shoes of the person who you’re trying to understand.

This ain’t about you. It matters not an iota what you think about the issue at hand. It’s all about him.

Unless you think that way, you’ll never understand his views and you’ll be hard pressed to ever solve the dilemma.

Would you be as mad if you were him ?

Would you be as happy if you were him ?

What thoughts would be running thru your mind right now if you were him ?

In the past, when I’ve put myself in the shoes of a customer who’s pissed, I’ve found myself as mad at my coworkers as he was.

I try to completely disengage from my views and completely immerse myself in the situation from the other side.

This technique, if you can master it, also helps you write much better copy and find unique ways to target marketing campaigns. The ability to become the customer is worth the time it takes you to master it.

The second point is, you have to learn how to listen. Not hear, listen. And listen at least twice as much as you talk.

” In the Westen tradition, we have focused on teaching as a skill and forgotten what Socrates knew: Teaching is a gift, learning is a skill. ” ~ Peter Drucker

You have to learn to listen. It’s an acquired skill. Just because you think you know how to listen doesn’t mean you really know how. If you want the truth, ask all of your friends. If they all tell you that you’re a good listener, you probably are.

If several of them are less than enamored with your listening skills, you probably aren’t as good as you thought you were.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again - The best way to make someone aware of the fact that you’re really listening to him is to quote him. Ask a question and then repeat parts of his answer before you add your thoughts.

It’s the nearest thing there is to infallible for holding or getting someone’s attention.

Quite often you can still get your point across very easily with this technique. I often get most of what I wanted, just by using this technique, even though only moments before we were diametrically opposed to each others opinions.

Why does this work ? I’ll let Thoreau tell you, as you wouldn’t believe me.

” The greatest compliment that was ever paid me was when one asked me what I thought, and attended to my answer. “

In the past, I’ve mentioned the importance of a well placed compliment and how much more effective it is over flattery. They don’t mean the same thing. Not. At. All.

Make a point to study each person you meet. Turn them into a text book about human nature.

” Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward. When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand. ” ~ Karl Menninger

Who doesn’t want their customers and prospects to unfold and expand ?

Won’t that make it easier to sell to them ? To find out what else they want to buy ?

That’s pretty good advice.

I hope you were listening.